Masked Grimace
by Ryu Niiyama
Summary: Reflections of the Unohana heart, torn in twain by a mask that has become a face.


Masked Grimace

By: Ryu Niiyama

An attempt to reconcile retsu unohana with yachiru unohana. Warning: Psychopath in love…so this is in no way healthy. This had been kicking around on my hard drive for years so I decided to finish it.

Paring: onsideded (maybe) unohana /isane

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She wondered when the mask has become her face, when Retsu became more than just her shame and failure on display. Retsu's gentleness and precision, mere shadows of Yachiru's deadly grace and unfaltering technique had been reborn in the fires of a heart that finally desired more than a beautiful struggle. The Unohana heart never stopped longing for an equal, and while she found it in battle, it was not in an opponent to be bested and lovingly obliterated, instead it was in a partner to guide but also to trust.

Kotetsu Isane was a healer that Retsu knew in time would surpass her, and yet she was a warrior, not as powerful, but her protective spirit coaxed forth a battle maiden just as intoxicating to Yachiru as the fiercest berserker. Retsu could taste her spiritual pressure, sharp and sweet, laced with compassion and only dulled by her self-consciousness and she yearned to feel its strength directed at her. Yachiru had to struggle to keep her blade sheathed as the sweetness of Isane's might called to her mercilessly.

Even Minazuki, always in tune with its mistress, longed to feel Itegumo's fangs in the heat of battle. The Unohana soul longed for and adored a form that Isane herself loathed and Retsu wanted to show her with gentle touches the truth of her beauty, while Yachiru burned with the need to take her with violence and carnality; to show Isane how her beautiful strength incited her into a passionate frenzy.

Yet they could not give Isane any of these things. Her beautiful lieutenant could not bear the weight of their love. Yachiru, whose kisses would produce blood red blossoms… She would destroy the one she loved; her passion could only rend and destroy while her compassion could protect Isane yet she would remain forever at arm's length. Retsu's almost motherly gentleness was ill suited to nurture passion and love for a mate rather than a mentor.

She cursed Kenpachi even as she marveled at his strength; he had limited her ambition and perhaps made it impossible for Yachiru and Retsu to have what they both desired. They could not reveal themselves to Isane in this way, for they had lost their control, that perfect balance between murderer and protector. Even if Isane could withstand Yachiru's passion, it would destroy her ability to be nurtured by Retsu's kindness. If she could not love them both, that would be a thousand times worse than them destroying her.

She did not know where her sword ended and she began. A Sheathed blade was pretty and offered the untapped potential of protection while a hilt-less one could only harm those it wished to protect. By the King, if she could only be both. If she could bathe in the blood of her enemies and bask in the affection of her beloved Isane and not taint her gentle light.

A deceptively delicate hand rose and stroked at the one symbol of her imperfection, of her failure and she felt the boiling rage and admiration anew. To lose to a child! To be shown that all of her brilliance and violence would be swept away by a raging bull unaware of how to even truly wield his power. If she could not even destroy him, then surely she could not bind her beloved Isane to her in a way that would keep her sweet Lieutenant safe and forever hers.

Yet Isane was not as hidden and unnoticed as she believed. The ache to kill and maim and destroy rolled over her, hating the thought of any other than _herself_ knowing Isane's true beauty. And if Isane took a lover…well that simply would not do…for the Soul Society would run red with the blood from the corpses that Yachiru would offer her beloved one in courtship. Yet Retsu knew such a thing would destroy gentle, yet wonderfully strong Isane. Her strength was different from Yachiru's… different from Retsu's even, but they had always admired and lusted for might…of the heart, of the body, of the spirit, of the sword; strength was the way to the Unohana heart.

Kotetsu Isane was a force of nature in certain ways. Yachiru ached to cross blades with her, but Retsu held her back knowing that even for Isane any battle she entered would only end in her death. Yet Retsu craved it as well. The thrill of meeting the one she loved so dearly in battle, the challenge, the honesty, the primal brutality. Love was pain as much as it was pleasure and nothing mirrored it as perfectly as a battle hard fought and won.

She wanted to push her sword deep into Isane, watching that bewitching light drain from her eyes, before she brought her back from the brink, whole and pristine and beautiful. She wanted to lick her sweet blood from her blade before pressing her to the earth and taking her beautiful body and heart as honestly and thoroughly as she took her life. How she wanted to hear comingled cries of excruciating pain and unbearable pleasure escape from her sweet Isane's lips.

Yet it would mean nothing if Isane didn't trust her. If Isane looked upon Yachiru and Retsu and saw a monster….a murderer… a manipulator it would destroy them. Isane had to know that Yachiru would be the one to kill her, and until that day she would allow no harm to come to her beloved one. Sweet Isane had to know that Retsu would be the one to heal her, so that even death would never be allowed to embrace her. She couldn't bear that thought that Isane would look at her with eyes unseeing…if Isane could look at her and not realize that this was the truth of what _they both_ were. Shinigami were killers, they hid behind pretty words and titles but in the end they were beings of might and power and death. Yachiru understood and celebrated this….and in that perfect honesty she would give Isane everything.

But Retsu knew that the human mind and soul was rarely so enlightened, rarely so understanding. Isane would not understand and Yachiru would have to kill her sweet love to grant her peace from her horror. They could stomach losing their title, and losing the right to blood freely spilt. But to lose Isane? Loyal, loving, beautiful, skilled, compassionate Isane? No. They would tear Soul Society apart in grief and madness.

There was only one chance, one hope. She would mend her mistake, she would make that fool of a disaster Kenpachi into a proper killer. She would give him the sweet death that Yachiru ached to bestow upon her beloved and Retsu would pull him back. It was a betrayal of everything that they'd ever wanted but it would be fitting penance…and Isane would be safe. And finally when the deed was done…when he finally had the strength to slay her rather than merely wound her, she would enter into the cycle.

Perhaps if the King were kind she would be reborn in the Human World, in a form that Isane could accept and love. Yachiru and Retsu smiled at the thought. Yes, they would go to their death…and in dying they would have everything they ever dreamed of.

Isane.

For her, she would become better.


End file.
